People love babies they are cute and cuddly and you just want to squish them. But I’m going to be honest I have a hard time letting people hold him. When it’s someone I know, I let them hold my baby but inside I’m just waiting for the moment I can grab him again. Before you think I’m crazy for feeling this way hear me out.
When my baby was a newborn I didn’t want anyone holding him other than daddy. He was tiny and fragile human being and I wanted him by my side all the time. My instincts to protect him were very strong it felt so primal.
When you become a mom you know when your baby is hungry, uncomfortable or scared. You learn to recognize the different sounds they make and what they mean. You develop an instinct that connects you to your baby. I think it’s very important to respect your babies wishes and since he can’t communicate for himself that’s what I’m here for I decide when someone’s time is up with my baby. I’m not going to allow someone to force their love onto my baby when he doesn’t want it. But I do not understand what makes someone think they have the right to just grab my baby.
He’s a pretty calm baby so there are times he’s getting held by someone he wouldn’t be crying but he would have a scared look in his face that again was not okay with me. I also know that people say things like “ take a break” or “ enjoy this break” to be honest I don’t need a break. My baby is not a chore or a dread! I enjoy being a mom 24/7 and holding and being with him all the time. Believe me I’ll let you know if I need a break. This might sound a little possessive to some people but your mom you can be possessive! It’s my job to protect my son I am the one that takes care of him.
We as moms are our child’s protector, they can’t defend themselves nor speak for themselves or walk on their own. Until he can communicate for himself I will always feel like I have to make sure his wishes as well as my instincts are being protected! Always trust your instincts even if you don’t understand why you feel them.
Not all moms might feel the same way I do. I’m sure moms that work probably get over this sooner because they have to work and learn to trust other people with their baby. Some others probably don’t get over it at all. Who knows! All I know is that I feel this way. And that’s okay!
You must find the courage to honor your instincts even if they don’t make sense to you! I don’t see why people have to hold my baby, you can smile and play with the baby while mom is holding him in his comfort zone. If the mom wants you to hold the baby she will tell you.
It had never really occurred to me before but babies don’t NEED to be held by anyone else besides their parents. They gain nothing from being passed around like a football, to being exposed to other people smells and energy. It is all for the benefit of the visitor, and not at all for the baby.
Babies and mothers are supposed to want to be near each other it’s not personal it’s biological. Do you know what happens when a mamma hears and sees her baby upset? At least this is how it went for me. I instantly went into high alert mode. My senses became heightened. A wave of heat started at my face and moved down through my toes. Not comforting my baby became physically painful!
At first I was too worried about hurting others feelings by just taking my baby back or “ asking” which a mother shouldn’t have to do that’s HER baby! Which is RIDICULOUS!
Others don’t NEED to hold your baby. Making a new mamma feel guilty for not handing over HER baby to you is despicable. And also claiming it’s “ your baby” when you aren’t mom or dad is the most disrespectful thing you can do to mom, no matter your relation.
Babies are people not toys. You do not have to “ share” your baby because an adult wants to hold them. And I say “ share” in quotations because you’re not sharing that’s YOUR baby those visitors have the privilege to hold, play and snuggle your baby! You do not have to put up with an unsettled baby because they are being passed around. Do not be afraid to speak up. Boundaries are healthy, manipulation is not. Never allow others to let you feel guilty for saying no.
Mothers instincts 